


A Dark Paradise

by Glitchy_Outsider



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Adopted Sibling Relationship, Angst, Anxiety Disorder, Bullying, Depression, Everyone Needs A Hug, Fluff and Angst, Homelessness, Human Sides (Sanders Sides), Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Logic | Logan Sanders Needs a Hug, Nonbinary Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Schizoaffective Disorder, Self-Harm, They're teens, Transgender Patton, Young Sides (Sanders Sides)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-02
Updated: 2020-05-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:33:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22532524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Glitchy_Outsider/pseuds/Glitchy_Outsider
Summary: Logan Smith has always had two friends named 'Thomas' and 'Deceit' that everyone seemed to ignore. Thomas was like a personified rainbow, always cheering him on and complimenting him while Deceit only seemed to cause trouble and degrade him for anything less than perfect. Being told that Thomas and Deceit are both hallucinations and that he has a handful of mental disorders hindering his life throws him for a loop. Things spiral out of control and Logan turns to drastic measures to feel in control of his life again.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 16





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This fanfic is a little confusing at first, but trust me when I say that this is going somewhere! The beginning part you're apart to read is set a little-ways into the future, but it will all make sense in no time, I promise! Thank you in advance for reading and I hope you enjoy!

It's been a week and a half since Logan has been home. His hair was greasy and he had to be careful on how many of his rations he ate, but he'd much rather be on the streets than home at the moment. No matter how many times Thomas told him to go home or tried to lead him home. No matter how many times Deceit hisses in his ear that he's worthless or that his family wouldn't care if he died. He will probably never go back and if someone tried to force him to go, he'd fight tooth and nail. He loves his family, and he misses them, but he can't handle being monitored or all the time or all the doctor visits and medication. He was normal. Perfect, even. He didn't need all those things.

Currently, in his arms were a bag of apples that a nice lady named Alexandra gave to him and he had his book bag full of things from home on his back. As of now, Logan was walking to an abandoned building that he sometimes takes refuge in. Of course, he could've gone to the forest or to the cafe, but he felt like sleeping in an actual bed today. Albeit, a worn out and stained bed, but it's better than nothing at the moment.

Logan sighed by the time he made it to his 'home' for the night, wanting to do nothing more than to pass out. Making his way through one of the broken windows, Logan saw that Thomas was already there to greet him instead of Deceit. Relief filled him, his shoulders sagging from the tense position they were in earlier.

"Don't worry, Deceit isn't around and probably won't be making an appearance for tonight. You will more than likely get a restful night of sleep." Thomas spoke softly, following Logan up the creaky, wooden stairs. Feeling too exhausted to reply, Logan simply hummed in response as he dragged his feet into the closest room to the stairs. Logan placed the bag of apples and his book bag next to the door before pulling his blue blanket out of his bag. He wrapped it around himself as he made his way to the bed before face planting into it.

Logan could hear Thomas sigh beside him. Already knowing what Thomas was going to say, Logan turned to his side and groggily pulled his glasses off before placing them next to him.

"Thank you," Thomas chuckled, "Do you want me to sing you to sleep again?" Logan hummed again, already on the verge of sleep. Thomas cleared his throat, running one of his hands through Logan's hair before beginning one of the songs he made himself called 'on the borderline'. A warm feeling filled Logan as Thomas softly sung the tune into the rotting building.

"I'm standing on the borderline" was the last thing Logan heard before sleep pulled him into it's soft embrace.


	2. When Times Were Simpler

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The beginning of how Logan's family was made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, so sorry for the wait, but due to quarantine, I'll try my best to write some more! Also, a beta reader is kinda needed, so if you're able, please comment!
> 
> Anyways, hope you have a good time reading, I enjoyed writing this!
> 
> [There aren't major warnings, but there is some stuff mentioned, so be a little wary when reading]

Logan had just arrived to the orphanage after finally being released from the hospital. A few months ago, him and his parents were in a bad car crash that left him in critical condition ~~and god, there was so much blood and noises happening at the time, he just wanted his parents, _where were they, he was so scared, his sight being obscured due to a wet substance dripping from his forehead and **He doesn't want to remember it anymore.**_~~ He was told he had to wait at some orphanage in town since his parents were "somewhere far away" and so he waited for them as asked. _~~Over time, he knew they were never truly coming back for him.~~_

Despite trying to become friends with most of the other kids at _Crim's Orphanage_ , Logan only ever truly became friends with Patton, Virgil, and Roman. They were always kind to him, even during the days he somehow couldn't find it in himself to get out of bed and during the nights when Patton comforted him after a nightmare. The caregivers allowed allowed them to bring Logan food and play in his room when he felt too tired to get up.

Overtime, as the four of them grew closer, they all made a promise to thenselves and eachother that they won't let themselves get adopted unless they were together. Looking back, Logan actually found it quite funny and it never failed to make him smile. Four orphan kids with different backstories and sad upbringings making a pact at such a young age to stay together, even if it meant losing a potential home. In the end, Logan was grateful that it worked out in the end.

Logan had just turned 12 when one of the few caregivers came into his and Patton's room to interrogate them on why they refused to go with potentially new parents. The caregiver, Chloe, then kicked out Patton to ask Logan more questions in private. Chloe was a beautiful young lady with blonde hair that she usually had tied up into a pony tail and enchanting blue eyes.

* * *

"Hey, Venelope? Can you be a dear and step outside for me real quick?" Chloe asked as she sat beside Logan on his bed, "I just wanna talk to Logan for a little, I promise that I'll get you once we're done." Logan couldn't find the energy to ask why she hadn't asked Deceit to leave the room too.

Patton looked up from the book he was reading and with a strained smile, nodded affirmative. He placed the book on the table beside the bed before sliding off the bed himself, "Alright! Virgil, Roman, and I will get Logan some food while you two talk!" Patton chirped before walking out of the room and shutting the door behind him with a bounce to his step.

Logan itched to correct Chloe that Patton was a guy just like Logan. That Patton didn't go by _Venelope_ and that the name made Patton severely uncomfortable. Alas, Patton was still in the closet as trans and it wasn't Logan's place to out him without Patton's permission.

Remembering that Chloe wanted to talk to him, Logan sat up and adjusted his pillows so he could lean against the wall comfortably. Deceit continued to sit in the dark part of the corner from across the room, just staring at them with his cold eyes as Chloe put her hand on Logan's knee. Logan internally begged that Deceit would leave and that Thomas would show up instead.

"So, Logan, we're going to talk about something serious, okay? You don't have to answer if you want, but I need you to be as honest as possible," Chloe rubbed his knee with her thunb as if trying to comfort him, "How have you been feeling lately?"

Logan tilted his head to the side in confusion. Some of his hair fell into his eyes due to the action, so Logan brought his hand up to sweep it back as he answered, "What do you mean? I'm feeling fine, I haven't been sick in a long time!"

A small smile spread across Chloe's face as she replied, "I know, Lo, and I'm so proud of you, but that's not what I meant." Chloe placed both of her hands onto the lap, playing with her fingers unconsciously, "How have you been feeling mentally?"

"Mentally?" He echoed.

"Mhm!" Chloe hummed, a small smile playing on her lips, "Have you been feeling sad, happy, angry, maybe even a little numb? There's no wrong answers, don't feel pressured!"

Seeing movement put of the corner of his eye, Logan looked to see Deceit walking over to his bed and stopped so he now stood behind Chloe. "Careful of what you say, Logan. She could use every word against you." Deceit hissed with his slightly distorted voice. It never failed to send chills down his spine.

"I don't..." Logan whispered just loud enough for Chloe to hear, "I don't think Dee Dee wants me to say anything."

"Who's Dee Dee, Lo? The caregivers and I have heard you talk about him and someone else, I'm pretty sure his name is Thomas, but we've never seen them before." Chloe placed her hand back onto his knee as if to comfort him again.

Deceit glared at him as Logan spoke about Deceit, Thomas, and everything else he could see that apparently nobody else could. 

"Oh, Lo, come here," Chloe pulled Logan into a hug, threading her fingers through his hair, "How about we visit the doctors to talk about this soon? I promise they'll make everything better for you."

* * *

The first few doctor vists held nothing for Logan, but his caregivers continued to take him for check-ups. After 3 years of doctor visits, therapist appoints, prescriptions that made him either worse or didn't work, and false diagnoses, Logan was finally diagnosed with Schizoaffective disorder at the age of 15. He learned that it was rare for him to have it at such a young age which explains why they took such a long time to correctly diagnose him.

Logan refuses to believe it, though. Even though no one says it, it implies that he's crazy, Deceit says so. Although Deceit tends to lie, he knows that it's true. Logan pretends to not notice, but he sees the pitiful looks everyone gives him. He saw how Patton, Roman, and Virgil treated him (still treat him) as if he was made of glass. Even their new adoptive parents, Penelope and Michelle Adams, give him concerning looks when he talks to either Thomas or Deceit.

Whatever, it doesn't matter. So what if everyone can't see what Logan sees? He'll prove to them that he's not crazy. He was and always will be the most successful and normal person they'll ever see. Nobody will know that something is wrong. He promises everyone that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I myself do not have Schizoaffective disorder, so I'm typing this with help from the internet, so if I get something wrong, please correct me and I'll try my best to fix it!
> 
> Logan has Schizoaffective disorder, a mood disorder (maybe, idk if I'll change it or not), anxiety, depression, and PTSD (from the car crash).

**Author's Note:**

> Just to be clear, I do not has schizoaffective disorder or anything of the such, this is just my take on it! Sorry for the short story, but the next chapter will be put out soon! Hope you enjoyed and if you have any questions, comment them and I'll answer! Positive critique is always welcome!


End file.
